HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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