Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
