They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
