That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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