then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
