Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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