I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
babies were throwing up all over the place
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
