if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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