He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
