My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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