i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
