We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
sex in a hospital.. check
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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