Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
