your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
