Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Randomize
