In America we eat man semen.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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