I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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