Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I have fence marks all over my body
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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