I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize