I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
