Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
