the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
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