I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
