i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
