What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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