I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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