I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
