You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
