Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
