yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
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