After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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