that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
