He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
