Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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