My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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