I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
