I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
