He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
