IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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