What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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