i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
It's official drugs can't kill me
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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