It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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