I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
