is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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