dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
