If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Randomize
