Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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