now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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