Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
