Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Sober January is a disaster.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
