So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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