been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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