something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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