but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
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Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
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