The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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