zippers are such a cool invention
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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