Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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