I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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