I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize