why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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