I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
