Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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