Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize