we have officially lost it.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
