guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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