Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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