remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
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It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
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There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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